It would be no news to say that life has been filled with ups and downs. That is, after all, the very nature of life. That said, my life has been a crazy sort of roller-coaster this last couple of years, but especially the last several months. You see, I’ve been dealing with some absolutely crazy medical issues that have caused chronic pain and more. It’s been a wild ride of doctor after doctor until finally, just a few weeks ago, a diagnosis was found. I was diagnosed with a Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder, which is an Ehlers-Danlos related disorder. To say this is life changing is an understatement. It means that this pain and the disability that comes along with it is not going away and is, in fact, simply a part of my life now. As May is Ehlers-Danlos awareness month I would like to ask you to check out the Ehlers-Danlos Society and learn more about this very under-recognized disorder.
I write all of this not for sympathy, but to explain where I’ve been these last several months and why I’ve basically vanished and why now I’m back! You see, through this process I’ve learned so much about myself and life in general. I’ve learned to focus on my passions and what I can do rather than on the things that are now lost to me that I can no longer do. You’ll notice that I’ve accompanied this post with the Death Card. There are a few reasons for this particular image: first, it represents where I am now. One phase of life is definitively over and another is blooming from it, something new and beautiful. The other reason: the art of the card on this post is my art! You see, I’ve found my connection to my artistic ability again and begun to use it again.
As I can no longer do the things that I was able to in the past, I can use my art to create new things. As I know Tarot quite well I’ve decided to put my art skills to work to create new Tarot decks and artwork! The main art above is from my project call the Transformation Tarot. You can see a couple more of the cards artwork below.
I’m also working on what I’m calling the Iconic Tarot, which is a far more minimalist deck with vibrant colors. The collage below will give you a good idea of what it’s like:
In addition to these things I’ve begun selling my artwork on an Etsy shop as well as set up a Patreon site to help sustain myself while creating and allowing me to offer my supporters exclusive rewards!
So, why am I doing all of these things? The simple answer is that they are all part of reinventing myself after a life changing diagnosis. I’ve always been a person that tries new things, and to be honest, I’ve always been a person who finds it difficult to stick with a single thing. Well, at this point I’ve found something that not only am I truly passionate about, but it’s something that I can do and do very well with my physical limitations. In addition to that, committing to such things is absolutely part of the transformation and new birth that comes about after such a change in life.
I want you to look at the image of the card at the top of this post again. Do you notice that the scythe, the symbol of the death, is at the bottom? It has already done its work. The death, the end, has happened. Yet, the much larger part of the image is a flower blooming from the source of death. This is the focal point of the artwork because death is not an ending. Death is, in fact, a transformation. Something beautiful and new can grow from it. In the Tarot this is the typical symbolism and meaning of Death: a definitive ending of something, but a beautiful and new beginning of something else. This is where I am in my life right now. I’ve gone through the difficult transformation and now it’s time to rise and become something beautiful and new. I’m trusting my own skills and myself in a way I’ve never done before and I’m putting my artwork and things out there for the world to see. It’s frightening and exhilarating all at the same time!
For those who have been on this journey with me: thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those who have loved and supported me throughout the years I ask you to please consider supporting me in these new ways, either by purchasing, pledging monthly, or simply spreading the word.
Thank you all for everything and for enlightening my world!
Love and light,
Fred-Allen aka Gingery.